Feelin' kind of lost

I've been feeling kind of lost lately. I'm not sure why. I don't know if it's because I have a milestone birthday coming up and it's making me contemplate life? Or if it's because some of the relationships I rely most on in my life aren't what they used to be or what I feel I "need" them to be? Or if it's because I'm not where I thought I would be in life when I hit 40, but when I stop to think about that. . . .I'm not really sure where I thought I would be. Or if it's because I'm missing my dad, thinking about him every day, wishing I had more time to say the things that are in my heart.

Maybe it's a combination of all of these things. Whatever it is, I don't like it. I'm not a weak, lost, person. . . . .but yet lately this is who I am.

Maybe I just need some more recovery. Yeah, that's it. Rest and recovery. Ahhhh. Mental well-being here I come.

Hopefully.

Quote

"Set peace of mind as your highest goal, and organize your life around it."

-- Brian Tracy, Speaker, Author, Consultant

I like this quote. :-)

It's what I've been trying to do since my dad died. . . . .whether I realize it or not. Some days I REALLY miss him.

Back from vacation

We're back from vacation, almost unpacked, and have the second load of laundry in. Seems we went through quite a few towels and sheets with people coming and going from the "hotel on wheels" this week.

Vacation started off at Eau Claire. We rolled in, set up camp and kicked our feet up. Saturday I did a bit longer pre-ride than usual (like 3 times longer), but was having such fun on the bike, I didn't want to stop. Sunday's race went OK. Could have been better, but then it always could have been better unless you win, right? Eau Claire is notoriously bad for me with all the open double track. BUT I fared much better than in years past, and definitely much better than my elite race there last year (uuugh).



Sunday night we packed up the hotel on wheels and headed up to Levis for the week. Talk about fun riding. That place is the best. We rode every day, which is unusual for me. And I think by the time the WEMS race rolled around on Saturday I had hit just about every inch of that trail in at least one direction.

I had high hopes for the 3 hour WEMS race. But after putting the hammer down off the start, I realized 8 days in a row of riding with a race tacked on each end of that appears to be the max my body can handle at this point in my training. So I decided to keep it under control, back it off a few notches, and have a fun 3 hour ride. And that's exactly what it was. My first 2 laps were within seconds of each other (which is awesome considering I typically run out of steam by 1:40) and the last lap was only a couple minutes longer. I rode all the "scary" stuff, rode clean, rode smart, and had a blast. There were a bunch of faster girls, so I didn't place too well. . . . .but I was happy with my consistency and my technical abilities.

Now it's back to the real world. We'll bake some chicken garlic Papa Murphy's pizza for dinner, catch up on the tour and relax. Then the madness of catch up and fitting back into the real world begins tomorrow. Yuck.

Meltdown

I seem to be having a bit of a personal melt down today. I do believe I am in desperate need of a vacation.

While the real estate market isn't as bad as everyone says it is. . . .I'm behind on my closings for the year. I seem to be spending a lot of time with buyers and sellers and having not a lot happen. That happens some times, but it's frustrating when you're working like a dog and don't see a pay check. Commissioned sales isn't all it's cracked up to be at times.

On the bike front, I'm enjoying my new ride, but I am a bit frustrated with Trek. First of all, I am very thankful that I was given the frame I was given as a warranty. I understand it was a significant step up from what I had, and I'm thankful to have fallen into that gift. However, it isn't my fault they didn't have something to replace what broke. I guess this is the reason it took almost 6 weeks to GET a frame. . . . which really sucks. I'm told my case has caused them to take a good look at their warranty system in order to improve it going forward. I'm truly not one to be a big complainer, but this is a good thing for them. Six weeks to get a new bike is unacceptable in my book. . . no matter how great the upgrade is. Had I not had a friend who HAPPENED to have a bike my size collecting dust. . . I would have been sitting SIX WEEKS without a mountain bike. Hmmmm, that doesn't seem to be the best customer service if you ask me.

While my shop worked diligently at getting this issue rectified, when the new frame DID come, it did NOT come complete. Of course several more items needed to be ordered. . . .shipped. . . then assembled. And I'm STILL waiting for a front derailleur. I have a borrowed on one now, which "works", however it requires a couple shifts, some soft pedaling and some gentle shifting to get into the big ring. Not really what I want to be thinking about during a race.

I guess I should just be happy I have a bike, even if it has been a 6 week headache (which still hasn't come to a close).

On top of that, Thunder's blood tests did indeed come back high for her Lyme's disease. . . . .so now we're starting treatment on that. I gave her her first dose of antibiotics tonight. now I'm supposed to watch to see if they make her ill. Gosh I hope they don't. I don't really have the patience to be dealing with that crap right now. If she doesn't get sick I have to go to the PEOPLE pharmacy to get her actual prescription. Yeah, and you people with kids think us people with dogs have it easy? I'd venture to say no. Thunder is about as human as they come.

And those are just the issues I can talk about for the world to see. There are even more under the surface. Time to suppress and deny again. Seems to work for me at times. Keep so busy you forget there ARE issues. It's the human way.

Well, it's almost 5pm. I say that means it's time to have a drink. Heaven knows I sure need one today. Uuugh. Vacation can't get here SOON ENOUGH.

I love Lance's new commercial.

Demand Media Video -- powered by demandmedia.com

Because he's right. Who cares what anyone else thinks? We do what we love because we love it. In his case doing what he loves to do helps find a cure for cancer. How awesome is that? So say what you will. It doesn't matter. I still think he's an awesome athlete, a superior cyclist, a great ambassador for life.

And they say CHILDREN are expensive

Four HUNDRED some dollars later. . . . . .

And the vet doesn't think her recent "lathargy" is due to her Lyme's disease. That was $400 I would have liked to have spent differently. Oh well. Hopefully we won't need to worry about that anymore.

Here it is!

Isn't it a beaut? :-)

I'm told it's "a boy". Still working on the name.

Already falling in love with it after it's maiden voyage at Suamico today. Sweet.